so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
