what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
