i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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