it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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