dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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