I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize