Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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