why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
