we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize