that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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