So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
