its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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