oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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