I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
