I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
