my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
