Say something about gay babies.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
