I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
