on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
