planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
