Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
