PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
