It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
