There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
