you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
