New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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