I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
