puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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