I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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