We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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