I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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