well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
