Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
