At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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