she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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