Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
