Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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