it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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