yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize