Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
