U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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