Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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