two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
