Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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