This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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