Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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