I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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