She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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