whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize