These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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