Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
