I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
