dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no, he came in my armpit
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
