Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
