I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
