I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
