wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No subtext here. People are naked.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize