Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
