I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize