I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
