I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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