This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
