Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
