I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
