SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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