Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
