i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
