My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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