Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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