Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
