I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
