remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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