guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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