i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm at about main and main street
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
