Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
