Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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