I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize