So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
