As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
