im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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