I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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