just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
