yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Randomize
